Some people just seem completely unable to maintain a relationship despite their best efforts. This causes them to do some deep reflecting, but many can’t figure out what they’re doing wrong. It turns out, your mistake might be that you’re actually too hot. It sounds strange, but some research is coming to that conclusion.

The Science

Researchers ran several studies that gauged people’s attractiveness and then checked their relationship status. People were shown pictures of random people and asked to gauge their attractiveness. What they found was that those people who were rated by participants as more attractive were more likely to be divorced than those rated as less attractive.

Science lab beakers and glasses
Hans Reniers on Unsplash

These findings led the researchers to draw some conclusions about how attractive people interact in a relationship. What they found might be surprising and may call into question whether a physically attractive person can ever be happy in a relationship.

The Problem

The biggest issue with attractive people and relationships is that these people often have many alternative options for new partners. When they have many new options, they may begin to weigh the pros and cons of moving on.

This is a problem because other people will almost always seem like better options than your current partner. When we’ve dated someone for a while, we learn all their positives, but we also learn all of their faults. When we first meet someone new, we only see their positives. This gives us an unrealistic view about how good (or bad) a new relationship would be.

People don’t necessarily have to have modelesque good looks to have this wandering eye. The more attractive a person thinks they are, the more likely they are to look for a new partner. It doesn’t matter how “attractive” this person actually is, it all comes down to their self-view.

That means a person who has been hitting the gym more, has recently undergone a big makeover, or is just feeling better about themselves is far more likely to look for someone new than someone staying the same. If you have a partner going through such a transformation, you may want to watch out.

The Catch

The big caveat here is that attraction is in the eye of the beholder. While some people are “beautiful’ in the conventional sense, not everyone agrees with their attractiveness. Just because you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is incredibly gorgeous doesn’t mean that the world necessarily agrees (likewise, if you don’t appreciate how beautiful your partner is, someone else will).

While it’s flattering to think that you can’t find a partner because you’re too attractive, there are likely other factors in play. To find a long-term relationship, you have to be willing to make some pretty major concessions and sacrifices. Many people remain single because they are unwilling or unable to make these sacrifices. If that’s you, that’s not anything to be ashamed about. Some people value their independence above all else.

Graffiti of heart with stick figure hanging off bottom
Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Whether you’re married, in a long term relationship, or single, the trick is to be happy and content with your situation. Every relationship status has advantages and disadvantages. Just enjoy your life and things will ultimately work themselves out.