Being physically attractive, well-dressed, and rich is a great way to land a date, but what about the rest of us? How can average people become more alluring?

Believe it or not, there are quite a few things that everyone has control over that can make them more desirable. The trick is embracing these qualities for their intrinsic value, and not just to get a date. Here are five ways to make people fall hopelessly in love with you.

1. Listening and Remembering

These qualities are harder and harder to come by as smartphones distract us and endless entertainment vies for our attention. If you share a genuine conversation with someone, and you bring up some detail from the conversation at a later date, they’ll likely feel a connection to you.

Two men sitting at outside table, chatting
Lilibeth Bustos Linares on Unsplash

You don’t need to fawn over someone to create this connection. Simply being attentive to them and responding in earnest gives you an edge over many people who can’t be bothered to tune in. Paying attention to conversations also gives you more things to talk about during future encounters, which helps strengthen the bond between you.

2. Having an Interesting Life

You should cultivate an interesting life for your own good—not so you can attract someone to you. However, you will certainly be more attractive to potential partners by living an exciting and varied life.

Person parasailing
Thien Dang on Unsplash

There are a couple reasons for this. First, it shows that you’re fun to be around, and you can introduce your partner to new people and experiences. Second, it means you’re independent and won’t need attention 24/7. Other independent-minded people are attracted to someone who has their own life.

3. Showing Vulnerabilities

While confidence attracts partners, vulnerability does as well. This is because you have to share a very authentic part of yourself when you show a vulnerability.

Wooden human figure holding red glitter heart
Jude Beck on Unsplash


People feel honored when someone is willing to share a fear or anxiety with them. Showing vulnerability quickly develops a bond between you and your confidante by proving that you trust them.

4. Owning a Dog.

This one is a little different than the others, but it’s true. A study of online dating profiles showed that women were more attracted to men with dogs in their profile pics.

Small white dog, running through grass with mouth open
Joe Caione on Unsplash

The reason? Women look for nurturing men who would make good fathers. Dogs have become more like family members in modern times, so owning a dog is similar to raising a child. Unfortunately, the study did not prove that men were more attracted to women with dogs.

5. Taking Care of Yourself

This is a general idea but an important one. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle makes you much more attractive to potential suitors.

Outdoor group yoga class
Anupam Mahapatra on Unsplash

We’re talking physically and mentally. Get enough sleep, exercise, do yoga, and meditate. Do whatever you have to do to feel great and have a healthy body and mind. When you have good mental and physical health, you’ll feel great and be able to treat others well. That’s as good of a quality as you can get.