How “Politician” Lord Buckethead Gained The Support Of The United Kingdom

Lord Buckethead is British royalty, but you won’t find his title formally recognized by the Queen. No, Lord Buckethead is an “intergalactic space lord.”

Buckethead received 249 votes in a recent bid to unseat Prime Minister Theresa May in the UK’s early June snap election.

“My manifesto is an ambitious and progressive programme…” Buckethead’s website reads, pointing to “a suite of policies that have been fully costed and which marries fiscal responsibility with an interest in lasers.”

The space lord’s campaign included an impressive 15-point platform, with highlights ideas such as:

“1. The abolition of the Lords (except me).

“6. ….a referendum should be held about whether there should be a second referendum [on Brexit].

“10. Legalisation of the hunting of fox-hunters.

“11. New voting age limit of 16 to be introduced. New voting age limit of 80 to be introduced too.

“13. Stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead.

“15. Free bikes for everyone, to help combat obesity, traffic congestion and bike theft.”

If this humorous and not entirely unreasonable platform seems well put together, it’s because this isn’t Buckethead’s first election; the space lord also ran in 1987 and 1992 against Margaret Thatcher and John Major. After 25 years away from British politics, the intergalactic being decided it was time to go back to his former ways.

As a part of the race, the space lord also outlined an education platform, calling for “a wave of brand new Gamma Schools, founded on 3 key principles:

“1. better pay for teachers to attract bright graduates.

“2. increased facilities for children including more playing fields.

“3. any child caught misbehaving three times will be blasted into deep space, with the parents offered a lovely fruit basket by way of consolation or celebration, depending on the child

“Discipline is a huge issue in schools,” the bucket wearing candidate concluded, ” but that should do the trick.”

The intergalactic cape wearer earned 249 votes in this year’s election, more than the combined total from Bucketheads previous two runs, when the space lord gained 131 and 107 votes, respectively.

Lord Buckethead has much broader support internationally —and intergalactically—with more than 116,000 Twitter followers.

Buckethead wrote a thank you letter to the residents of the community of Maidenhead—the district where he ran for Parliament.

“Maidenhead will always have a place in my internal-bodily-fluid-pumping organ.

“I would also like to thank your Prime Minister, because on what must have been a highly stressful occasion for any leader she took the time to be cordial and polite both to me and the other candidates before the results were read out.” One of those other candidates was a representative of the “Monster Raving Loony Party,” earning 119 votes.

“If she chose to be less polite with whoever advised her to call the election in the first place I would support her in that decision 100%.

“That said, you ask me for my view on Mrs May’s new government and it is quite simple: it is doomed.”

While the be-bucketed would-be politician did not win this election, the intergalactic royal has pledged to continue supporting the people of the United Kingdom:

“If Britain calls, a space lord will answer. I stand by my manifesto, I stand ready to serve (and be served)….

“Galactic best wishes, LB”

Planet Earth doesn’t deserve you, Lord Buckethead.