Relationships take a lot of work if they’re going to last. That means that we have to do everything possible to keep our partner happy and show him or her how much we love them. If you’re doing the little things wrong, those little things will eventually add up into something big. Here are just a few ways you may be setting up your relationship for failure.

You aren’t being flexible.

Throughout the course of a relationship, people change. The goal should be for you and your partner to grow and change together. That means being flexible and open to whatever comes your way. This can be tough, especially for someone who likes things just the way they are and may worry that change could damage that.

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As tough as it may be, you need to be open to changing along with your partner. This can be difficult, but it’s necessary for your relationship to evolve and grow stronger.

You apologize too quickly.

When there’s trouble in the relationship, it can be easy to just say “sorry” to avoid an argument. The problem is that some problems run deeper than just a superficial apology and require some actual talking. If you just apologize and move on, it may lead to unresolved issues.

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Similarly, it may lead to resentment if you find yourself apologizing for things you don’t feel you did wrong. Again, don’t be afraid to have tough discussions and don’t kick the can down the road with an empty apology.

You only focus on the negatives of your relationship.

Humans are imperfect, leading to imperfect relationships. Minor flaws are normal in even the strongest of relationships. Some people, however, get fixated on these minor flaws and can’t get over them.

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Try to focus on the positives of your relationship instead of obsessing over the negatives. It will help you keep things in perspective and keep you happy with your partner. Don’t torpedo a good relationship by obsessing over small issues.

You have unrealistic expectations.

Similar to focusing on the negatives, some people have extremely unrealistic expectations for their relationship. If you have watched too many romantic comedies or listened to too many princess fairy tales, you may have a completely skewed perspective over what a relationship actually is.

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No relationship is perfect and no relationship is happy all the time. The trick is to make sure that your relationship is working for you and your partner. Don’t compare yourself to a Disney movie — if you are in a relationship that works for you, then it’s a good one.

You don’t embrace your differences.

As important as similarities are in a relationship, differences are just as important. Relationships get boring if two people agree on every single topic and differences can actually help keep a relationship fresh.

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Don’t get defensive or emotional if you and your partner disagree on something. Use that difference as an opportunity to make your relationship stronger instead of retreating. You will both be happier because of it.