"Social media told you that nobody likes me, but everybody loves me."

"When I think I'm right, nothing bothers me."

"Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest—and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault."

"Man, ninjas are kind of cool. I just don't know any personally."

"I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well. I didn't want to ruin the magic."

"Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!"

"One of my biggest Achilles heels has been my ego."

"I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist. I think that would be, maybe, going too far."

"Have you ever thought you were in love with someone, but then realized you were just staring in a mirror for 20 minutes?"

"I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things."

"I'm going down as a legend, whether or not you like me or not."

"I make awesome decisions in bike stores!"

"I don't even consider myself ambitious."

"Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich."

"I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand."

"I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things."

"Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump."

"I feel like I'm too busy writing history to read it."

"I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers. I understand culture. I am the nucleus."

"I'm not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books."

"I believe [the media] like making me out to be somebody a little more sinister than I really am."

"How do you define leadership? I mean, leadership is a very strange word because, you know, some people have it, some people don't, and nobody knows why."

"You know, wealthy people don't like me because I’m competing against them all the time and I like to win."

"I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."

"I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me. Like, oh great, now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle."

"Bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing."

"When you’re the absolute best, you get hated on the most."

"You know, I’m a creative genius and there’s no other way to word it."

"Man... whatever happened to my antique fish tank?"

"My life has been about winning. My life has not been about losing."