“As much as I would love to say this post is the ‘I said YES’ post, it is not,” she shared in a Facebook post. “This post is actually way more important and will help shed some light on the subject for those still struggling with the fact that women really do this kind of s*** because we have to.”
Her lengthy post goes on to detail several interactions that all happened within the month of June that caused her to wear a fake engagement ring on her finger.
She told a story of checking in “an older man” who “seemed very friendly and kind.”
“I was polite and chatted with him for a little while for two reasons. 1. Being polite is just what you do. 2. Customer service is a big part of
Long conversations with strangers is a part of the job, but then, Guptill wrote, the man continued to “come by just to see me and bring more books and have more conversations.”
Eventually, the innocent conversations got personal, “so do you have a boyfriend?” the older man asked Guptill.
“I told him I did,” she wrote, “that we had been together for roughly 3 years. He then said ‘well I didn’t see a ring so I just assumed’ which, okay I get. But it was the fact that for the next 20-30 minutes he still stood there,” pleading his creepy case.
“It was a constant ‘you should call me if things go bad’ and just this lingering ‘won’t leave you alone’ vibe.”
Guptill felt like she couldn’t tell the man how she really felt about his unwanted advances because she worried it might cost her her much-needed job. What’s worse is that it’s not clear that the man got the point.
After another event where three young men were so persistently hitting on one of her co-workers that they were kicked out of the hotel, Guptill and her boyfriend decided she should wear a ring to “help keep creeps away.”
While the young woman seemed glad for the tool to ward off persistent pricks, she is frustrated that this is the world that she lives in.
“Women are living their lives AROUND the dangers of a man. I should not worry that when I go to work ‘the creepy guy might come back’. I should not worry when I walk out to my car at night that he might be there waiting for me. I should not worry about doing my rounds of the hotel and that some young, drunk guys might pull me into their room… I’m sick of it.”
Guptill knows she’s not alone and also knows that the fake-ring isn’t for everyone.
“I am not preaching the fake ring tactic. I am trying to raise awareness that women have to go out of their way in their day to day life to ensure safety. I should not have to carry a gun, knife, mace, learn hand-to-hand combat to go to work and check people in and out of a hotel. I should not have to do any of those things. Period.”
More than 1,800 people have commented on Guptill’s post, some of them, of course, dufus dudes who missed the point, but the overwhelming majority of the comments were from other women saying that they used the same strategy to keep men at bay.
Hopefully, someday soon, we’ll live in a world where women can lead their lives without worrying about falling victim to gross guys who don’t know how to treat women with respect and understanding — and get it that they need to leave ladies alone.