We’re all human and sometimes we do things that we’re not particularly proud of—things that we keep under lock and key to avoid scrutiny or embarrassment. They’re not bad things, and actually everyone probably does them as well—but we would never know—because everyone is just as embarrassed as we are to share!
Are you dying to find out if people are just as strange as you? Here is our list of the 15 things that everyone has done, but rarely admits to:
Desperately tried to put away your change when there’s a line behind you
You pay for your groceries and the cashier gives you your change, and now she’s waiting for you to put the change away—so are the 10 impatient people in line after you. You hear them huffing and puffing and she’s giving you looks.
So you fumble around to quickly put the bills and loose change away but then you drop some, and everything goes flying—and then you start internally freaking out because the bills won’t fit in the slot! Why does this freak us out so much?
Pretended to look at something you don’t even need at the grocery store
You want the 2 percent milk—but some nice old lady is taking her sweet old time picking out the whole milk to the right. Problem is, she’s blocking your way. So what do you do? Do you move along and come back after she’s done? Heck no!
But you can’t stand over her and wait. That would be rude. So you stand practically on top of her and pretend like you’re looking for something entirely different, just waiting for your turn in the dairy section.
Questioned your friends’ loyalty when it came to the remote
We’ve all done this! The game’s about to start and the remote is nowhere to be found. You start to panic and ask your friend if he’s got it. He says that he doesn’t. Then you ask him if he’s sitting on it. He firmly says, “No.”
There is no way you trust him with this though, so like a good friend, you rip him out of his comfortable seating position and make him prove his derriere isn’t hiding it.
Panicked when figuring out whether to greet someone
You recognize this guy coming toward you, but you’re not sure if he recognizes you. Do you chance looking like a weirdo if you say hello and he has no idea who you are? Or do you ignore him and chance looking like an antisocial jerk?
You panic and end up giving him some sort of a twisted, “half-of-a-hello” that leaves him rushing the other way.
Made plans knowing you’ll definitely be in bed then
Everyone’s going to a late dinner on Friday night at 9:00 and you’re down, right? Of course you are because there is no way that you’re going to look like that lame friend that never hangs out!
But the reality is, at no time during the conversation did you ever have any intention of going. 9:00? That’s 20 minutes past your bedtime.
Went on a stalking spree
Your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend, and your friend said that they post non-stop selfies. Of course you have see what she’s talking about and who this new chick is. So you go on a stalking spree.
However, sometime during the spree, you press the button to scroll the page up but end up hitting the “like” button on one of her pictures instead! Oh no—stalker revealed.
Skipped washing your hands after going to the bathroom
You know you’re supposed to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom; it’s pretty gross not to. But you just don’t feel like doing it.
So you do your business, then look under the stalls to see if anyone’s there. Not a shoe in sight? You’re outta there…sans suds! (We don’t recommend this one.)
Put a Q-tip in your ear
Your general doctor (and mom) have been warning you for years that it’s dangerous to put Q-tips in your ears…but you know you have a ton of stuff in there and it’s itching the heck out of you.
So you put the Q-tip in quickly—hoping that no one will notice.
Sat in this exact position for work
Your alarm goes off and after five snoozes, you muster the energy to get out of bed, brush your teeth, get dressed, and put some cologne on. Then you sit on the edge of the bed, and ponder life. Before you realize it, you’ve been sitting in the exact same position for over 20 minutes…and you perform this ritual every single day before you go to work.
Better yet, you also know you’ve sat in bed under your covers before even getting ready for the day. It’s a nice little cocoon—why would you ever want to leave?
Stolen a fry from someone
You and your friend go for burgers and fries at the fast food joint. She goes to find a table and hold it, while you pick up the meals from the counter. She got fries, you didn’t—but you really want a fry!
Who would notice just one missing? You grab one and quickly pop it into your mouth on the way back to the seat—oops.
Peed in the shower
Everyone knows that it’s gross and unsanitary to pee in the shower…but you REALLY have to go, and you forgot to go before you got in.
You think, “Oh I’ll only do it this once. Who would know? It’s only me in here.” So you give it a go—only deep inside, you know you’ll do it again if you need to.
Put gum under a table
You’re at a fancy restaurant, chomping away on your favorite bubblegum and your meal is about to be served—only you realize that the napkins on the table are made out of fabric and there is no paper to dispose your gum in! You panic, desperately looking around the table to find just anything that you can put it in. You find nothing and resign yourself to the fact that you must place it somewhere inconspicuous to avoid embarrassment.
You have no choice. You take it out of your mouth, roll it into a ball, look around to see if anyone is watching, then give it a good shove under the table and in the corner crack where no one would ever find it.
Done exact calculations of sleep
Sleep deprivation totally stinks and can be responsible for so many bad things like loss of memory, carb addiction, and lack of brain function. You know personally that if you don’t get enough that you turn into an evil mess.
So you make sure to count the hours of sleep (over and over) that you’ll get tonight, and the total for the next consecutive nights. If it’s too little, you’ll be sure to tell everyone around you how sleep-deprived you are, in order to excuse your icky behavior.
Spelled “jewelry” out in your head while writing it
Hey! Jewelry is hard enough of a word to say, never mind spell!
We think you’d be lying if you told us that you didn’t break the work up into three distinct parts, “jew-el-ry” every time you attempted to spell it correctly. Don’t worry—we all do it.
Gave quiet, unsolicited advice
You’re sitting on the bus and you hear two ladies talking about how their ungrateful sons come to visit with their families and all they do is dirty the house, not clean up after themselves, and not help with cooking dinner.
Boy, do you have a lot of advice to these two friends, and lord knows you’re having a full blown shrink session in your head with the unsolicited psychological advice that you’re giving them. If only you could project it.