You’re really excited that your bestie has found the guy of her dreams and that they’re soul mates and she’s blissfully happy and she can’t imagine a day without him and that they have the best time in the bedroom and….. TMI? New couples exude it.
It’s not that you’re sour…it’s just that their behavior can be so darned irritating that it leaves you wanting to pull your hair out (or quit hanging out with them).
If you’ve ever been in this situation, take comfort and commiserate with us—about the most annoying things new couples do:
They engage in too much PDA.
We get it. You’re so seriously into your new boyfriend or girlfriend that you can’t keep your hands to yourself. There’s something about their lips, their legs, their butt—that just drives you wild! Feel free to go crazy! But, please, not in our presence.
Overt public displays of affection can make everyone super uncomfortable. There’s nothing like trying to eat your lunch quietly as the couple next to you is grabbing at each other.
They actually baby-talk to each other.
“Shmoozie woozie love bucket you want some lunch?” “I weally love you da most.” We’re not sure why love sometimes turns intelligent, high functioning adults into 2-year-olds, but it makes us cringe to hear it.
We know that it eventually comes to an end, but we’re hoping that newbies read this and don’t even start.
They act like no one else “gets it.”
The overwhelming feeling couples experience when they fall in love is so special and magical that it leaves them feeling that there is no possible way that anyone else could ever have felt the same way. How could they and still exist without bursting from overwhelming joy?
This all-encompassing feeling drives blissfully blind couples to shout their experience to the world through cries of, “But you just don’t understand! We’re different. WE ARE IN LOOOOOVE.” As if no one noticed.
The two are almost literally inseparable.
Before couples were a twosome, they were a onesome. Each member of the couple could go shopping by themselves, eat by themselves, workout by themselves, and even—gasp—pump gas by themselves. Enter, the SO. All of a sudden, nothing is possible to be done alone.
Whether it’s the doctor’s office, walks with friends, or running an errand—said SO is always around. Friends and family notice and miss alone time with the onesome and often end up resenting the other party or the couple together.
They become experts on relationships.
Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t make them an expert on relationships. Couples in love think that they’ve got it all figured out. That just because things are working out for them, they have the secret and knowledge to dish out unsolicited advice on how others should go about their own romantic relationships.
In order to preserve your current friendships, it’s important to not come across as too preachy. Friendships, like romantic relationships, are about communication, and no one appreciates a know-it-all.
They post endlessly about everything they do together.
A post about the day at the park you had together with the dog is fine, as is the delicious meal that you shared in Chinatown. But when we start getting hourly play-by-plays of all of the “amazing” things things that you do with your SO, we start getting a little nauseated (and our fingers get a little “twitchy” on the block button).
By all means, let us know what you’re up to! But unless you’re getting paid to be on a reality show, a play-by-play of your life is unnecessary.
They humbly brag about their “issues.”
“I just don’t know what to do I’m so exhausted. He kept me up all night…”; “You know it’s a real problem—I don’t know where to put all of the presents we buy each other!”
Listen, everyone’s got issues. But these obnoxious brags masked as honest confessions leave us rolling our eyes.
You want to boast about something cool about your relationship? Great! Just don’t pretend to be doing something other than bragging (we can handle it)—and don’t make it too often.
Both of them start changing.
We’re not sure if this happens because each party wants to have some more in common with the other, or changes their hobbies and personality to please the other—but we don’t like it one bit.
Say one SO loves to binge watch Friends all weekend while your ritual is to catch up together on the episodes, every Monday. You’ve been doing it for months. And then she gets into a relationship and suddenly she’s claiming, “Friends is stupid. I have better things to do on the weekend.” Kind of annoying, right?
Often this is just the start. People start dressing differently, acting differently, and go to the extreme of changing even their political viewpoints so much so that they’re barely recognizable! Such are the signs of being molded into “couple mode.” This doesn’t sit well with friends of the SOs who have liked and appreciated their friends for who they are.
They take endless couple selfies.
We know that you’re happy. We know that you’re in love. From your endless selfies we now know that you both have the same freckles, show way too much PDA, and often wear matching outfits.
A couple of pictures of a couple are great and cool to look at, but can you please spare us the entire, time-consuming scrapbook? We evidently know that you take great pics so how about showing us say, your dog, or your new couch, or anything except another one of the two of you?
They can’t stop talking about their relationship.
We know that you love everything about your new SO—that he loves Star Wars, that he has the most perfect tennis form, and that he has a little dimple on the left side of his cheek when he smiles. However, we start to find it irritating when you find the need to weave him into every single conversation that we have together.
We start feeling resentful that you’re not present with us, and that you’d rather be with him, rather than with us. By all means, feel free to mention any cute anecdotes to us, if they’re relevant, just make sure that you remain interested in us (and other things besides your SO.)
They only hang out with each other.
Here’s the story. One minute you’re hanging out with your bestie (you have fun conversations on the phone, you take the same gym classes, and you shop for new shoes together.) And then all of a sudden…POOF! She’s gone!
This phenomenon in some circles is called “ghosting” and describes a situation when one person disappears and ditches all of their previous relationships to spend all of their time with their new significant other.
As you can imagine this is super hurtful for the people who have always been there and leaves them feeling abandoned. The last thing you want to do is play favorites and ditch your loyal friends.
Of course it’s exciting to hang out with your new SO, but be sure to still make a concerted effort to spend time with your friends. Also try including them in activities with your new love—this way everyone feels included and no one gets hurt.