Someone On Twitter Thought Sheryl Crow Was Dead…So Crow Wrote A Song About It

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Sheryl Crow wants you to know something about her: She’s not dead.

In fact, she’s doing pretty well, all things considered. She released her ninth studio album Be Myself, on April 21, 2017. In July, she joined the star-studded six-day “Outlaws” tour with Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, and Jason Isbell, among others.

At no point did she suddenly die. That seems to be a pertinent point since some Twitter users apparently think that Crow’s recording and playing music from the Great Beyond.

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On July 28, a Twitter user named Tuna Ketchup (with handle @TunaCatsup, just to confuse things further) tweeted about Kid Rock’s campaign for U.S. Senate.

“Oh man,” Tuna Ketchup wrote, “@SherylCrow must be rolling in her grave right now…”

Naturally, this annoyed Crow, who, again, is not dead.

“Dude. I’m still alive,” the pop star tweeted. About 91,500 people retweeted her, spreading the word that Sheryl Crow is completely not dead.

The story might have ended there, but Sheryl Crow wasn’t going to let Tuna Ketchup forget about the mistake. We can’t believe that we just wrote that sentence.

Anyway, Crow quickly posted a song, “Dude, I’m Still Alive.”

“I certainly was confused / When I saw your tweet today,” the song starts, and it doesn’t let up from there.

“If Kid Rock runs for Senate / I wouldn’t be surprised / But not over my dead body / ‘Cause dude, I’m still alive.”

It’s worth noting that Sheryl Crow posted this at 9:06 p.m. on July 28. Her original response tweet rolled out at 2:40 p.m. earlier that day, which means that she put together this single in a few hours (something that could only be done by a non-dead person).

Towards the end of the song, she gets political, taking a few apparent digs at President Donald Trump.

“I like a President who’s smart / And handles women with respect,” Crow sings. ” Who doesn’t tweet on the toilet / But perhaps from the Reagan desk.”

Personally, we’re not really concerned about where a President tweets from, but hey, we’re not songwriters. She also addressed Trump’s recent criticism of Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

“I’m sorry for Jeff Sessions / Seems they’re dropping like flies / As for Comey, Sean, and Reince / Dude, at least you’re still alive.”

You know, in a pinch, we’d probably vote for Sheryl Crow. She seems like she can get things done.

Tuna Ketchup apparently directed his original tweet at Sheryl Crow because of “Picture,” a duet that Crow sang with Kid Rock way back in 2001. At the time, Kid Rock didn’t seem to have any political aspirations.

Crow, on the other hand, has shown a liberal bent throughout her career. Recently, she spoke out against Trump on ITV’s Good Morning Britain.

“It’s my hope that sooner than later he’s not in office anymore,” she said. “I mean the word impeachment definitely comes out of my mouth, but what we need is a functioning government, and it’s been, for the last 144 days, nothing but chaos.”

Say what you will about Sheryl Crow, but she speaks her mind. Rest in peace, Sheryl.

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