With the rise of dating apps, people have more options than ever. That’s not necessarily a good thing. You may find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being someone’s backup plan.

That’s a hard place to be. The person will often keep a thread of the relationship going while they have no intention of committing to you. Here are five signs that you are not someone’s number one priority.

1. Most of your relationship exists through texting.

Many people forgo talking on the phone in favor of texting. As long as that texting leads to face-to-face interaction, it’s fine. The problem occurs when someone only wants to text.

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That usually only happens when someone wants you as a backup option. They could be breadcrumbing you or they could just be relieving their boredom by texting with you. Either way, if they don’t have time to meet up with you, they’re probably not into you.

2. They run hot and cold with you.

If someone can’t stop flip-flopping on how they feel about you, do yourself a favor and get out. Someone who wants to spend all day with you on Saturday and then doesn’t return a text for 48 hours when you text them on Sunday isn’t smitten by you.

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People tend to do this because they are overcome with physical desire while they are hanging out in person. Once they go home and think about dating long term, they get cold feet. Don’t put up with moody behavior.

3. You never meet their close friends or family.

If they’re keeping you a secret, they’re probably doing so for a reason. It’s not that they’re embarrassed by you; they just don’t want to go through the trouble of introducing people to their loved ones if that person may not be around for very long.

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People who are interested in you will be excited for you to meet their friends and family (unless they’re embarrassed by their own loved ones which is always a possibility). If your significant other doesn’t introduce you to their inner circle and gives no reason for it, you should be wary.

4. They shape up when you threaten to end things.

Some people try to put in the minimum possible effort to keep a relationship going. Only when you’re about to dump them do they try to change to become a better partner.

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This behavior reveals their true intentions: They don’t see you as a long-term partner that needs to always be treated with respect. They just want to keep you around until someone better comes their way.

5. They completely disappear for days at a time.

Everyone gets swamped once in a while. However, when it becomes a common occurrence to not hear from someone for days at a time, you’ve got a bigger issue.

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They may or may not be hooking up with someone else. Even if they’re not, they’re showing a lack of respect by not dropping you a line to let you know they’re busier than normal and may not have time to text.

As people have more options for partners, they tend to become less devoted. That’s fine at the beginning of a relationship, but if someone continues to treat you as a backup plan, it’s time to buck up and leave. You can do better, and you deserve to have someone who is fully committed to dating you.

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