If you suspect your partner of cheating, the first thing you should do is take a step back and analyze the full picture. Everyone changes as they get older and experience new things. Most of the time, these changes are harmless, but of course, sometimes a lover gets a wandering eye.
People in successful relationships pay attention to changes so they can adjust their habits to stay in sync with their partners. When spouses or partners start to grow apart, cracks form in the relationship, and that’s when the majority of infidelity happens. Here are some red flags that could indicate that your partner is being unfaithful.
1. They closely guard their phone.
If your partner makes sure to snatch up their phone every time a text comes in, they may just be curious about who is texting. On the other hand, they may be ensuring that you don’t see an incriminating message.
Don’t overreact to a partner checking their when they get an alert, but do pay attention to their demeanor when this happens. Someone who is excited about receiving a message will act much differently than a cheater who is covering up his affair.
2. They start to care about their appearance more.
As with most behaviors, this could also be innocent. As people age, they may decide to go to the gym or buy nicer clothes to improve their appearance. The truth can be found by examining how they go about this change in attitude.
Do they invite you to the gym also? Do they suggest trips to the mall, so you can both buy a nice outfit? Someone who is cheating is more likely to do these things on their own. Some cheaters will even use their newfound effort to look better as a justification for cheating.
3. They suggest taking separate vacations.
Every couple has differing amounts of codependence and independence. But if one partner seems particularly receptive to you going out of town on your own, they may be doing so for their own benefit.
Strangely, if your partner overreacts to the notion of you going somewhere on your own, that could also be a sign. Someone who is cheating will often be overly sensitive to the possibility of their partner cheating. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to figuring out the truth.
4. They are no longer interested in sex.
There are many reasons someone might be uninterested in sex, but one of the biggest reasons is that they’re already getting it somewhere else. If your partner goes to the gym, dresses like a model, and then just wants to watch TV on the couch, something may be up.
Oftentimes, simply talking about the issue can clear things up. If they calmly offer rational answers, then you probably have nothing to worry about. If they get nervous or upset and don’t make a ton of sense, they’re probably hiding something.
5. They never mention the name of someone they spend time with.
If your partner eats lunch everyday with a potential love interest, but they never mention this person by name, it could mean trouble. True, they may just be protecting you from jumping to conclusions and worrying. They might also be trying to keep you completely in the dark so that they don’t have to hide their behavior.
If you go to your partner’s work event and they seem to be especially good buddies with someone you’ve never heard mentioned, it’s worth keeping an eye on the situation. Some people avoid the guilt of having an inappropriate relationship by avoiding the subject as much as possible.
Every situation is different.
Remember that there are infinite reasons why people could act a certain way. Don’t jump to conclusions because your partner acts funny every once in a while. Doing so could risk alienating them when they haven’t even done anything.
At the same time, you should never be blind to what’s in front of your nose. If you notice several red flag, address the situation. You may head off a bad situation before it really begins.