After a bad break up, there may be a temptation to send your ex a text message. This is never a good idea. Even a short, seemingly innocuous message can cause problems. Here are just a few reasons it’s best to avoid texting an ex.

1) You’ll give your ex the satisfaction of knowing you aren’t over them.

If you and your ex don’t communicate, they have no way of knowing if you’ve moved on or are still thinking about them. As soon as you send that text, you remove all that doubt. Even just a quick text shows that you still aren’t over the breakup.

Man sitting on side of building, looking at phone
Derick Anies on Unsplash

This gives your ex the upper hand in post-breakup land. Never, ever sacrifice the upper hand just to send a text message.

2) It just comes across as desperate.

When you text your ex, you’re basically saying, “I want to get back together.” That always comes across as sad and desperate. Even if you’re dying to get back together with your ex, silence is your best option.

Woman sitting at table, looking at her phone
Kev Costello on Unsplash

Let your ex come to you instead of you trying to influence the situation with a text message. If your ex broke up with you, there is nothing you can say to win them back.

3) It will only delay you getting over your ex.

Ultimately, you’ll need to come to a place where you’re truly over your ex. When you text them, you’re just prolonging the inevitable. It’s only by putting your ex out of your mind and finding yourself that you’ll really be able to move on. Sending a text message to your ex completely derails that progress.

Woman looking out over water, holding her phone
Duminda Perera on Unsplash

No matter how badly you want to send that text, resist the urge.

4) You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to find closure.

If you’re texting your ex to find closure in your relationship, you’ll ultimately just drive yourself crazy. People only seek closure to find out what was “wrong” with them so they can fix it to try to win back their ex.

All black image, with two hands in view, using iphone
Free-Photos on Pixabay

This literally never works. All you need to know is you two weren’t compatible and just leave it at that.

5) It will make you seem much less appealing to your ex.

You may think that texting your ex shows how much you care, which will ultimately lead to a rekindling of the relationship. That’s not how it works. You’ll either come across as desperate or a stalker, neither of which is a good look.

Close up of man and woman's hands, using cell phones
Dean Moriarty on Pixabay

Far from making your ex regret what they lost, it will make them relieved that they dodged a bullet.

6) Texting your ex makes it seems like they’re the best you can do.

When you leave your ex alone, they may wonder if you have found somebody better. The moment you send that ex a text message, it is very evident that you have not. In fact, it sends a message that the ex is the best you can do, and either you’re now single or with someone who’s not so great.

This will just inflate their own feeling of self-importance, making them feel like they can do so much better than you

Man standing in front of clouds, holding and looking at iphone
Hilary Clark on Pixabay

If any of these are the messages you want to send your ex, then text away. But in most cases, it’s best to keep the phone in your pocket or purse when you have an urge to text an ex. Our suggestion: Just don’t.