Going through a bad breakup is never fun. It may feel like it will take years for life to get back to normal after a serious relationship ends. Some psychologists, however, recently shared some tips that can help speed up this process. In fact, you may be able to get over it in just a month. If you’ve had your heart broken, here are some tips to help you move on.

1) Stay busy.

It may be tempting to just curl up in front of the television or crack open a bottle of wine to wallow in your sadness. This is probably the worst thing you can do. Instead, find something to occupy your time.

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Keeping your mind occupied will help you move on and help get your life back to normal. Maybe it’s taking on more at work, maybe it’s spending more time at the gym, maybe it’s just pursuing your favorite hobby. No matter what you choose to do, keep yourself occupied with something healthy.

2) Focus on the negatives.

No one is perfect, not even the ex that you’re now pining over. There were probably things about this person that drove you absolutely crazy. Try to focus on those instead of things that you’re going to miss.

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Thinking about the things you won’t miss will give you some perspective on this breakup. If you need to, make a list of all the things that annoyed you and read it every day. It will help you focus on the person as they actually were rather than the perfect image you may be imagining.

3) Surround yourself with loved ones.

Your friends and family are your best resources for getting over an ex. When you’re surrounded by love, you’ll get over the hurt and pain of being rejected by your partner.

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Being with these loved ones will help remind you that there was a life before your ex, and life will go on after your ex. Your friends also know how to cheer you up and know how to help you move on in a positive way.

4) Treat yourself.

You shouldn’t go crazy spending money you don’t have, but try treating yourself to something nice. It will help you realize your own self-worth and give you a template for how you should be treated by future partners.

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Something simple like buying yourself flowers, treating yourself to a nice meal, or just drawing up a relaxing bubble bath can help you move on. Don’t be afraid to spoil yourself a little bit after a breakup. It’s actually a healthy behavior.

5) Learn from your relationship.

Even the most painful breakups have some lessons for us. Maybe there was something you did that drove your partner away. Maybe your partner had some red flags that signaled he or she wasn’t right for you. Either way, there’s a lesson in this breakup.

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Understanding why a relationship ended can help you avoid problems in future relationships. Eventually, you’ll find the right person for you if you can avoid repeating past mistakes.

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