Married People Share The Insane Stuff They Learned About Their Partner AFTER The Wedding

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It’s impossible to know everything about your partner before you’re married. Even if a couple lives together to make sure they’re compatible, eventually some dirty little secrets will come out after they seal the deal with marriage.

That being said, some secrets are bigger than others.

What one partner thought was just an uninteresting quirk could be seen as a major turn-off by the other. Here are some real people sharing their little and not-so-little secrets that they learned after being married.

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wiseGEEK

Reddit user SeldonsHari shared a common frustration.

He posted, “I didn’t realize until after we lived together that she can’t keep the bathroom floor dry. When she showers, I feel as though half of the time she points the shower head at the ground outside the shower. When she gets out, I imagine her shaking her body off in canine fashion.

“If she washes her face at the sink, I visualize her saying ‘one handful of water for me, one handful for you’ (to the floor).”

Don’t take it too hard, buddy. As you’ll soon see, some people found out even more troublesome news.

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Redditor Pb-Foot has a simply incredible revelation that came to light after the vows were said.

He wrote, “That she had been married 6 other times. (yes, that’s a six). She said, ‘Only two counted because they lasted more than a year.’ I thought I was denied some critical need to know information.”

We think almost everyone would agree that keeping this to herself was a major breach of trust. Still, there’s only so much you can do once the wedding bells have rung. We’re just hoping that the seventh time is a charm for the bride.

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One commenter shared a revelation that took almost three decades to come out.

Reddit user Dog-boy said, “When I was about 20 and my parents had been married for 29 years my Mom said she was going to make squash with supper. My dad’s response was to say ‘No thank you. I never want squash again.’

“My mom was all WTF. My dad’s response was that he had eaten it because a) she liked it and b) if you want your kids not to be picky eaters you suck it up and eat whatever is served. We were all astounded.”

What a great dad! He sucked it up (literally and figuratively) for 29 years for his children’s benefit, and then he politely informed his wife what would make him happier. 

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Here’s another innocent one. Redditor asleepawhile shared her husband’s hilarious secret.

“I met my husband online—okcupid. I found out right before we got married, after dating for 5 years and living together for 3, that the picture of him posted on the site was staged—a profile of him using a camera timer in his room alone while holding a beer and talking to no one.”

“I don’t know which cracks me up more that I couldn’t tell or that he kept the secret for so long.” We would have loved to have been there when the husband revealed that adorable little doozy.

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Margee Kerr

Redditor PolarRelic told a story about his wife that’s mostly harmless (at least so far).

“My wife is from Siberia. (Back story: she was my exchange student girlfriend in high school. We got back in touch 17 years later and we were married a year-and-a-half ago.) She is straight-up amazing, but I have always been at least a tiny bit nervous being the passenger when my wife drives.

“It’s not that she drives poorly, she just has a very different respect for the rules that I take for granted, like signaling before changing lanes, speed limits, merging and keeping distance between other cars. You know, small stuff.

“Her foreign license won’t work here for long, and she studied the driver’s manual HARD to pass the written portion for her Oregon driver’s license. On her third attempt she passed, missing only one question.

“Last night we were celebrating her victory and she confessed something that really surprised me: She acquired her Russian license with the aid of two bottles of Cognac, given to her instructor prior to the ride-along to ensure a passing grade.”

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Reddit user OrdinaryJose shared a truly shocking secret that he discovered on a sad day.

“I didn’t learn this until after 17 years of marriage. My wife passed away. At the funeral I met her ex-husband, her 22-year-old son who she hadn’t seen for 19 years, and her other 20-year-old son who she gave up for adoption (from a different father).

“I never knew any of them existed until the night before the funeral when her best friend asked if I minded if they came.

“Yes, it was awkward. She never had spoken of them. The closest she came to admitting it was when we were dating and she said, ‘don’t believe a word my sister says, she tells everyone that I’m divorced and had two kids.’ 17 years later I found out that was the truth.”

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We’ll end with a feel-good secret that came out of nowhere. Redditor MentleG3N shared this tale.

“After being married for almost 4 years I learned my wife can play guitar, like incredibly well. She saw an acoustic at the flea market 2 weeks ago and she just picked it up and started playing. My jaw f*cking dropped. I bought it for her and now she is teaching me how to play. :)”

There you have it. You never know when a secret, little or big, will reveal itself and change your view of someone you thought you knew everything about.

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