You’re rolling your eyes as you read this title because you know most of these women. You’re probably friends with them on FB, and admittedly, you find it kind of hard to ditch them because, well, you actually get a kick out of them. (We won’t tell anyone.)
Sometimes they annoy you; most of the time they’re so ridiculous that you find yourself scrolling to see what they’re up to because they’re just so entertaining when you’re bored.
Think you’re seeing more of these moms on social media? You’re right! Recent data shows that 88 percent of moms are on social media, and 56 percent of them check or post on social media several times a day.
See how many of these social media moms you can recognize—or if any of them (gasp) are maybe you!
This mom shares everything. And we mean everything. You get to see what she’s eating for lunch, what her toe looks like after she banged it on the bedroom door, how bloated her belly is after a sushi dinner, and when her kid took his first poop.
You also get to follow every step of her family vacation to Cancun. This woman is afraid to leave anything out and lives her life as a stage for you to (cough) enjoy.
The Self-Deprecating Attention Seeker
“Oh I suck at cooking. Why do everyone’s cakes look better than mine?” “I try so hard but my abs will never look like Beyoncé’s” (you can hear the sigh).
Appearing modest, this covertly conniving mom uses her seemingly innocent behavior to gain attention from others who will just prop her low self-esteem right up for her!
The Perfect Mom
Her life is perfect. Her kids are dress perfectly. Her hair is perfectly without frizz. Her clothes are perfectly tailored. Her car is perfectly pristine. Her lawn is perfectly manicured. When you bake a layer cake there’s always a little lopsided lean to it. But hers stands tall and looks like it came out of Martha Stewart Cakes.
And her husband has perfected his ability to be the perfect husband to her. All is just…perfect.
The Catty Mom
This woman’s got a whole lot to say, and she ain’t afraid to say it. She hates the service at the local Mexican restaurant. She’s pissed at JetBlue because they boarded her last. She hates Angelina Jolie because Brad Pitt doesn’t deserve her wrath. She also hates the bus driver for being early every day.
Oh, and her comments aren’t reserved to her own page. She’ll let you know what she thinks about your posts as well.
The Mom Who Misses the Mark
Her friends pressured her into being on social media but she just doesn’t get it. Her posts are awkward (“I had a nice dinner with friends at Landmarc. It was sweet of everyone. I ordered strozzapreti bolognese braised beef short rib, pork and herbed ricotta and a cappuccino.”) she tags improperly, misuses hashtags, and likes every single person’s post.
You just shake your head and laugh every time you see something from her because she’s actually kind of cute.
The Showgirl Mom
This mom is living out loud and proud! She’s at the theater because she won tickets. She’s got a great deal on a dress and she’s in the fitting room with it on (cue the awkward fitting room shot). She’s in Paris with her new husband who she’s madly in love with (thanks for the super close pic of the make out session).
Honestly, we’re happy for her because she’s excited that she lost 20 pounds, but we can’t take another bathroom lingerie shot.
The Selfie Mom
This chick posts more pics of herself than of her kids—in the bathroom, on the terrace, at the movies, making mac and cheese, with red lipstick, with pink lipstick, with pink lipstick with a little red in it.
There are 93 million selfies posted on any given day, and we’re quite sure hers make up a large percentage of them!
The “I’m Awesome Because My Kids Are Awesome” Mom
Her posts really aren’t about her kids’ accomplishments. Her kids’ achievements are about how perfectly fantastic she raised them.
“David got first in the make-your- own-volcano competition!” (Gosh, I must be awesome.) “Lizzie is going to state in track and field!” (I taught her everything she knows, because I’m awesome.) “I just don’t know how Lenny fits it all in!” (Cue the pictures of Lenny as the lead in five different theater productions.)
The Pregnant Mom
With this mom you can expect endless belly pics at every stage of the pregnancy (some appropriate, some not so much), endless questions about baby products, posts and tweets about unsafe parenting practices, and declarations about what she won’t do that other parents do.
By the end of her pregnancy, you’re begging for that baby to come out even more than she is!
If there’s a fight brewing, you can be sure this mom is not on the sidelines! This beauty is always down for a good fight. She’ll brawl publicly with her husband, her bestie, the head of her kid’s school, and the poor woman who owns the dance studio. No one is safe.
On the other hand, the good news is that if you need a partner in crime to help you brawl for your own cause, she’ll sprint to your bandwagon, fists in the air.
The Bestie Mom
She’s friends with all of her daughter’s friends. She posts pictures with them. She responds to their posts and tweets. She likes all of their stuff. She tags them on everything.
Because she likes to think of herself as the “cool” mom.
The Newly Single Mom
You can spot her a mile away from the pretty, staged, and photoshopped pictures to the late-night posts (“It’s 3 a.m. and I can’t sleep. Anyone else awake?”) This woman is on the prowl and looking for social media to be her matchmaker.
The Hashtag Overuser
This mom isn’t exactly sure what a hashtag is (or what it’s used for), but she wants in on the party. She hashtags arbitrary words like #sink and ridiculously long phrases that take you too many brain cells to decipher, like #fulltimestayathomeworkingmom. Sometimes she gets lazy and #chooses to add a #hashtag to random #parts of #sentences.”
One thing is for certain, if she’s posting or tweeting, she’s hashtagging.
The Covert Mom
You know she’s there (her “active status” tells you so). She doesn’t hit post, but instead quietly scrolls and stalks, keeping her thoughts to herself (until she accidentally hits the like button).
You think she’s the quiet type…until you hear about her comment about a post of yours from her best friend.
The Low Key Braggart
This mom is the sneaky type who secretly wants everyone to know how great she looked at an event (or that she was even at said event), or that her kid scored top in the spelling bee, or that she just got a major job promotion—but she doesn’t want to be the one to tell everyone.
She posts things like “Great job @Lillypage for getting first place in the meet this weekend.” “So happy to have been part of these beautifully talented moms who raised money for diabetes.” She’s not fooling anyone.