There are no better experts on divorce than divorce lawyers. They deal with divorce every day, giving them insight into what causes couples to split up.
Here are some of the signs they routinely see:
One partner is very judgmental of the other.
For a marriage to last, each partner needs to accept the other for who they are. It’s a recipe for disaster if one partner is judgemental of the other.
Surprisingly, the person doing the judging often initiates the divorce. This is true because they assumed their criticism would ultimately change their partner although that almost never happens. When their partner doesn’t change, they become frustrated and move on.
Everything comes before the relationship.
The pressures of daily life can get in the way of marriage. For example, responsibilities like work, family and friend obligations, and other commitments that require attention can get in the way. Problems ensue if everything comes before your relationships. It’s especially worrisome if you or your partner take on responsibility just to avoid your relationship.
As difficult as it might be, a couple needs to make time for their relationship. Without time together, growing apart is inevitable.
There’s a lack of intimacy.
Solid marriages have both physical and emotional intimacy. Intimacy fosters trust and a closeness that helps keep a marriage strong. Without it, the marriage is doomed to fail.
Couples must work to keep that intimacy fresh. The best way to keep it fresh is to plan dates, go on trips, and just try to have fun together. These are sure-fire ways to make your relationship intimate again.
One partner feels a sense of entitlement.
Relationships are a give-and-take. You may not always get your way, but at the end of the day, marriages require compromise. However, if one person feels entitled, compromise is impossible, and it will inevitably cause problems.
Of course, sometimes compromise can create entitlement. Your partner doesn’t owe you anything in return just because you did something for them. You should do things for them because you want to, not because you’re banking favors for later.
The couple feels incomplete without one another.
While a married couple is one unit, that unit should be made up of two unique individuals. If the couple is looking for the other to complete them, it will lead to problems down the road.
This places undue pressure on the other person. If they don’t live up to your expectations or let you down, it may erode an unreal image you have created of your partner. It’s also a sign that there are maturity issues with the couple.
The couple isn’t made up of equal partners.
Couples should feel like they share responsibility with their partner. They should also feel like equals when it comes to sharing their perspectives and opinions. Problems arise when one partner dominates the other, if one is lazy, or if one doesn’t share responsibility in the relationship.
Make sure that you treat your partner as an equal by showing them the respect he or she deserves.